Dear God,
You have granted me many gifts without having been asked. You've granted me a family that loves me, friends that stand by me, success in life, failure (yes failure), and countless other gifts. However, I will, on this occasion, only ask you for three gifts: Courage, Wisdom, and Strength.
COURAGE
Grant me courage to face my fears and move steadfast on path towards you and one that you approve of. Grant me courage to do what is right when anything else would seem like the easier option.
Grant me courage to confront my enemies with your grace regardless if I am defeated or not.
WISDOM
Grant me wisdom to understand the difference between what your will is and that of my enemies.
Grant me wisdom to understand that what is best for me may not always be what I want.
Grant me wisdom to understand the most difficult things in life will have the greatest results.
STRENGTH
Grant me strength to continue to fight the good fight and defend your name.
Grant me strength to bare the weight from the troubles of others who may be too weak to sustain it.
Grant me strength to power through all adversity when no end appears in sight.
God you have heard my prayer and know what my heart desires, I offer these words to you as my petition.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Do you know me?
We have all had those instances where a conversation turns into something unexpected, a self evaluation. It can be in the form of a casual conversation between friends, being used as a shoulder to lean on in a time of need, or someone actually pointing out your characterstics. I had the luxury (or curse) of having such a conversation recently and man was I amazed.
A great friend of mine (the mosquito) has been having a difficult time dealing with being apart with her boyfriend (no they didn't break up, he's in London). One knight I got a phone call and thats pretty much where everything started.
The conversation went on until the early hours of the next day but I must say, I went to sleep with more questions than with answers.
Do you think you know me?
Most people will know the basics (name, age, job) or things like it but many dont know the truth. At one point or another I've been labled an "asshole", "jerk", "waste of time", "mistake", "arrogant" etc. At one point or another I was and still am all those things. The crazy part is that to those who really and truely know me, I'm all but the opposite.
Why so...?
I will not and refuse to brag about the type of person that I am or I am not because that simply is not me. Instead, let me tell you why I choose to be those things that many people have labled me as. For those of you who know me, you know how complicated my life and my persona can be. I'm pretty sure at one point or another you've thought that I was bi-polar or something along those lines. Well here's the truth: I've got more demons to battle than most people can ever imagine or would ever want to know. I "play" so many roles because truthfully, I would prefer to be labled those things than to actually have someone stay. My bestfriend who knows me well knows that I considered my greatest flaw is my heart and she is right. I've seen so many people around me get hurt so whatever reason(s) and I've always told myself that I would rather be alone than to hurt someone. Tragically I've already hurt one to many people.
You give love....?
As of now I've had three relationships and all of them have been a fail with the last one being a miserable fail. I've always said that "the one common denominator in all your dysfuntional relationships is you" and know I'm starting to believe it. As I mentioned earlier, I would prefer to remain single than to hurt someone like those around me have been hurt but I've only begun to realize that I'm no different. I said all the wrong things to all the right people, and all the right things to all the wrong people. I've begged and pleaded, sacrificed and bled, but still no gain. Maybe those things that people said I am that I refuse to believe are me truly are me?
So much for....?
For those who have kept reading and suffered through all the words, I will reward your patience and time. At one point or another in my life I have helped out someone. Why, because they needed it more than me. If there is anything that I truely wish to be known for is my ability to lend the helping hand. I've been in many situations where people have refused to help me for whatever ever reason and I know what it is like to struggle. I have a running joke with the mosquito that I'm superman because no matter what problems other people may lay on my shoulders I keep fighting; fighting for them and for me. Naturally, she always asks why I do such things and I simply tell her "because I can take it." Regardless of how you may have treated me or what you may think of me, know that if you ever need that helping hand I will be there, because everyone deserves to be helped at one point or another. If this changes your perspective of me great, if it doesn't great. If you really want to get to know me, all you have to do is just ask, listen, and then you'll understand...
A great friend of mine (the mosquito) has been having a difficult time dealing with being apart with her boyfriend (no they didn't break up, he's in London). One knight I got a phone call and thats pretty much where everything started.
The conversation went on until the early hours of the next day but I must say, I went to sleep with more questions than with answers.
Do you think you know me?
Most people will know the basics (name, age, job) or things like it but many dont know the truth. At one point or another I've been labled an "asshole", "jerk", "waste of time", "mistake", "arrogant" etc. At one point or another I was and still am all those things. The crazy part is that to those who really and truely know me, I'm all but the opposite.
Why so...?
I will not and refuse to brag about the type of person that I am or I am not because that simply is not me. Instead, let me tell you why I choose to be those things that many people have labled me as. For those of you who know me, you know how complicated my life and my persona can be. I'm pretty sure at one point or another you've thought that I was bi-polar or something along those lines. Well here's the truth: I've got more demons to battle than most people can ever imagine or would ever want to know. I "play" so many roles because truthfully, I would prefer to be labled those things than to actually have someone stay. My bestfriend who knows me well knows that I considered my greatest flaw is my heart and she is right. I've seen so many people around me get hurt so whatever reason(s) and I've always told myself that I would rather be alone than to hurt someone. Tragically I've already hurt one to many people.
You give love....?
As of now I've had three relationships and all of them have been a fail with the last one being a miserable fail. I've always said that "the one common denominator in all your dysfuntional relationships is you" and know I'm starting to believe it. As I mentioned earlier, I would prefer to remain single than to hurt someone like those around me have been hurt but I've only begun to realize that I'm no different. I said all the wrong things to all the right people, and all the right things to all the wrong people. I've begged and pleaded, sacrificed and bled, but still no gain. Maybe those things that people said I am that I refuse to believe are me truly are me?
So much for....?
For those who have kept reading and suffered through all the words, I will reward your patience and time. At one point or another in my life I have helped out someone. Why, because they needed it more than me. If there is anything that I truely wish to be known for is my ability to lend the helping hand. I've been in many situations where people have refused to help me for whatever ever reason and I know what it is like to struggle. I have a running joke with the mosquito that I'm superman because no matter what problems other people may lay on my shoulders I keep fighting; fighting for them and for me. Naturally, she always asks why I do such things and I simply tell her "because I can take it." Regardless of how you may have treated me or what you may think of me, know that if you ever need that helping hand I will be there, because everyone deserves to be helped at one point or another. If this changes your perspective of me great, if it doesn't great. If you really want to get to know me, all you have to do is just ask, listen, and then you'll understand...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)